What is fair to you? herpes question. anybody with hsv 1 or 2!!??Okay, due to a rape, I was tested for all STD's including Herpes. I am in my early 20's but I have never messed around but 1 guy and never had any STDs. Anyhow, I found out I had HSV 1 cold sores, which I figured.. i used to get cold sores as a child and didnt contract it from the rape but never did I ever know it was herpes (i was never informed it was herpes and can transmit on someones genitals!) and I am so sad and frustrated that I didnt know and told my boyfriend right away.. he goes to the same hospital as me and got tested and was negative for every thing including herpes but he said he gotten chicken pox as a child. i got the chicken pox too as a child.
anyhow.. my bf brushed it off like it was nothing, but this is really serious!
1) why is it that there are people who are unaware of having hsv 1 cold sores?
2) if 80% have the oral herpes virus, shouldnt there be more genital herpes carriers?
3) why is it that once u know u have it, u have to tell ur partners? BUT
BUTTTT.. there are people who are unaware and dont care to know or dont know to get tested and still spread for the rest of their life.. why should people feel obligated to tell when there are people who are carriers and think they have NOTHING and do have something and still say others are dirty for having it!? its like.. UGH, i bet you have it too and ur mom and ur dad!
Thanks for the quick response everyone.. I told my boyfriend and i asked my parents why they didnt know it was HERPES.. bc im now afriaid to do ORAL SEX with my bf now bc i now know!, i dont even know if we should break up b/c of this! im too scared to pass it on to him, and well.. BTW.. i will inform all my partnes i have cold sores in the future.. bc i am honest cuz im mad i have the cold sores and wish someone wouldnt of passed it on to me!
Answer by LINDSEY S
i have both types of herpes. i think that no one who has herpes thinks that its fair that they have herpes. we didn't ask to have it. i certainly didn't ask for both types of herpes. he gave them to me when he had a cold sore that was almost cleared up and he went down on me one night. a few days later i felt the symptoms comming. i'm currently living with the guy who gave me herpes. i know for a fact that he doesn't cheat and nore do i. we are very committed to each other.
1. most people are unaware or uneducated or are in denial of what cold sores actually are.
2. i bet there are more cases of genital herpes. the numbers might actually be higher. but since herpes can only be passed durring viral shedding, when there is symptoms or a sore the chances of passing it on are vastly reduced when there is no sore.
3. its your responsablility to keep your partner safe and tell them on the other hand its your right to chose who u tell. if u love them enough then tell them. i wish people woudln't be so judgemental when it comes to herpes. they are being hypocritical if they have herpes and call some one else dirty for having them and i don't need people like that in my life.
Answer by Jade I
It is your choice to tell your partner. I personally wouldn't. And don't. it adds more tension in a relationship. I got cold sores as A child too. But what I'm learning is that you can get Herpes from sharing a towel, swimming in a dirty public pool, a spa, sharing a straw/fork with someone. it is so common these day to have it. you are not alone. Did you know that 1 out of 5 people have it. i know it's crazy! But that is just how it is. No need to feel ashamed or upset about it. it is a way of life for you now. me too. But I'm not going to tell the guy im with that I have it. cause it is none of there business. if the relationship works out and I want to marry the guy well then and only then will I consider telling him. use protection always. and when you are having a break out don't be sexual at all!
Keep your chin up :)
http://www.valtrex.com/coldsores/whatis_coldsore.html
Answer by asifnottocare
If you have had cold sores (HSV 1) since you were a child...your mother and father know you have it....so I am not sure why you telling them will be a surprise. I guess you could say...."Mom, did you know that cold sores are HSV?"
You also asked...if 80% of the population have HSV 1 on their mouths..why isn't there more genital herpes carriers. People are not contagious all the time and some people don't report what they have out of fear. As more and more people lose the stigma to it, I think more and more people will report it when they want meds.
Now...here is the thing.....just because others don't tell people they have it, does not mean you should be like them. You have to put yourself into their shoes. How would you feel if you got something without knowing about it. It is different when you tell someone and then they get it. They knew ahead of time. Please take the high road....as hard as it may be. And in reality....don't get too worried about your cold sores. Just don't kiss anyone when you have a sore, share their drinks, or siliverware.
Answer by Rivergirl100
Don't get too freaked out by the fact that cold sores are oral HERPES. So many people have oral herpes, that they really aren't considered an STD. And most people who have oral herpes don't even tell their partners - because it is so incredibly common. I agree with your boyfriend - its really no big deal. In fact, you thought that it was no big deal until you heard the word "herpes" right?
And there actually ARE a lot of people with genital herpes - roughly 20% of the population. You're right - its very very common.
Most people with oral herpes just choose to never give their partner oral sex when they have cold sores, and then don't worry about it. Most genital herpes outbreaks are caused by HSV2, by the way. You definitely CAN get HSV1 genitally, but its less frequent.
For more information on oral herpes (and genital herpes) I recommend the website below. It will give you reliable info about herpes (unlike some of the info on Y!A).
Good luck.
Get the facts on the chickenpox vaccine, treatment, causes (varicella zoster virus, VZV), symptoms and signs (itchy, red rash).
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